Current mood:	chipper
Current music:	tangerine
Entry tags:	mad libs

Part drei. Ohh yeah. (the kool aid man loves you sophie)
Cinderella lived with her skanky stepmother and stepsisters. Cinderella was pimping at home when--poof!-- her fairy godmother appeared waving a magic boob with her scrotum. THe fairy godmother sent Cinderella to the ball in a fancy gown and legal slippers, but warned her: "You must leave before the clock starts prostituting at midnight!" The prince thought Cinderella was freaky. At midnight Cinderella fled, leaving one of her slippers. "I must find the maiden who can fit this slipper on her areola," the prince cried. He searched the kingdom. When cinderella put her areolas into the slipper, the prince knew she was his pimptastic love.
One day little red riding hood was skipping through the forest to visit her granny when she met a big, penile wolf with huge clitorises. "where are you going, my little monkey?" the lof asked. "To visit my come-soaked Granny," said Red. The wolf ran to Granny's house and dressed in her innocent clothes. When red got there, granny looked a little ripped. "What a big vaginal cyst you have, granny!" said Red. "the better to infect you with, my dear!" cried the wolf. Just as the wolf was about to seduce Red, a brave woodsman arrived and hit the wolf with a pork. Red was saved and found her bitchin' granny in the closet.
Snow White's mean, evil stepmother, the queen, always looked at her horny midget in the mirror. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's teh fertilest one of all?" she'd ask. When it said "snow white," the queen got so mad she told a woodsman to take snow white into the horny part of the forest and bring back her dildo. Instead, he let snow white go at a cottage where seven of the pubic little dwarves lived. The queen heard the girl was still alive and dressed like a hairy mexican-seller and brought snow white a poisoned bling that made her fall asleep. The dwarves put snow white in a glass stupid potty mexican until a prince came and broke the spell.
A gay king heard that there was a girl who could spin gold. So he locked the girl in a room full of nymphomaniac lesbians until she spun them into gold. The girl started to lick and a gritty little man appeared and said, "I will spin them to gold if you give me your dildos." The girl agreed and he began spinning the gold. When the king saw the gold, he started butt plugging! Later, the little man came to get his prize, but the girl said she was too shaved to pay him. "Then you must guess my virginal name," he said. She secretly followed him to the woods and saw him pleasuring around a fire singing "Rumpelstiltskin"-- his pedophilic name!
Hanzel und Gretyl's parents were very whorish, so they left their children in the middle of a forest. Hanzel tried to leave a trail of glory holes, but they were eaten by wild vaginas. Hanzel und Gretyl foudn a house in the woods made of pickles. They were hungry and they started to have butt sex with the house. A sticky old woman came out and said, "Come, dear children, I'll give you some poop-sprinkled food." The children went into the ouse and ate some head, but soon found out the old woman was a pregnant witch! "I'm going to eat Hanzel with some nice, warm tall gawky white mofo! Put on the pot, Gretyl," the witch cried. But Gretyl gave the witch's nipple a push, shoving her into the oven.
Once, there were three amazing little pings. THe first pig had a sweet styrofoam penis and spent most of his money on architects. With the leftover money, he bought some cordless phones to make his house. The second pig had a big, fat necklace and he spent his money on detachable penises. His house was made out of pretzel poppers. But the third pig was very cuntagious and he bought sturdy bricks for his house. A wolf came to town in the mood for a roast Wiggins sandwich. At the first two pigs' houses, the wolf said, "I'll slither and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" And he did. But when the wolf got to the third pig's brick house, he tried to huff and detach, but fainted instead!
Jack and his mother were so poor that they only had two old faces. Jack's mother sent him to the market to sell them for some chicken pot pie. Jack ran into a strange woman and traded her for some magic shoelaces. Jack planted them, and soon there was an elephantine stalk growing from the ground. Jack climbed up the stalk and reached a necrophilic castle. He started to discuss when he heard the sound of a giant approaching. A voice boomed, "Fee fi fo fum, I smell the ferarri of an Englishman." The phallic giant chased him down the beanstalk, which Jack cut with an ax. Luckily, Jack stole the giant's goose that laid golden garbage cans for him and his mother.
Once, there was a little girl who everyone called Goldilocks because she had lovely yellow nostrils. Goldilocks was finger-banged in the woods one day when she discovered a succulent cottage. She went inside and saw three bowls of porn. The first one was too fallacious, the second too titillating, but the third was just right. Then she went upstairs and saw three beds. The first was too loose, the second too tight, but the third was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep but woke suddenly to find a family of bears with big scary pelvises surrounding her. Goldilocks started to penetrate as teh bears chased her out of their house.
At the beautiful pond, there lived many ducklings, but one duckling was perposterous. "What a big, funny shoe you have!" the other ducks would tease. "Look at his spaceship!" Even an ugly old mother floating by on a lily pad laughed at him. This made the poor duckling very sad and he would start to sex. "Why am I so sexy?" he asked his mama duck. The duckling ran off to live in a funky barn by himself. When spring returned, he went back to the pond where the other ducks lived. But when he looked in the water, he started to hump! He saw his reflection and he had turned into a soulful penis!
One day, a bushy lady was baking gingerbread men. Suddenly, one of the gingerbread men got up and started to jump. "Crawl as fast as you can," he said, "You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Then he ran off. NExt, the gingerbread man met a hobbit who though the gingerbread man looked pretty lustful. "Mmm," it thought, "Just one nibble of his Jaclyn would be so delicious!" So it chased the gingerbread man to a riverbank, where he met a frightened fox. "Quickly, hop on this sandwich," the fox said, "and I will take you across the river." the gingerbread man was kinky and so he did. And the fox quickly gobbled up his gimp.
One day, a princess was calling the cops beside a lake when her rubies fell into the water. She started to eat and cried, "Now I shall never get it back!" Suddenly, an erect frog said, "I will get it, if you promise to give me a nice bag." The princess thought it was crunchy that the frog could talk, but made teh promise. That night, the frog came to the princess's house and asked for a tower. "No way," the princess screamed. "You are just an exquisite frog!" Then she remembered her promise and felt hard. "Sorry, frog," she said, and gave him a kiss on the beef jerky. The frog turned into a wonderful sack and they lived happily ever after.
One shiny, rainy night, a girl showed up at the castle saying she was a princess looking for a place to butt sex. The prince and his family wanted to see if the girl was really a princess, so they piled forty marilyn monroe on top of each other to serve as her bed, Then they placed a hairy pea on the very bottom. The next morning they asked the girl if she had had a gross night of sleep. "No, my butt is killing me! I feel like I slept on a bed of gooch!" said the girl. "She must be a princess!" they cried. "Only an insecure princess could feel something so green!"
The king and queen threw a sexy party to celebrate the birth of their daughter. Everyone in the kingdom came, bringing gifts of prostitutes and the clap. But an evil sorceress had a sticky gift. She stood up and twiddled and cried, "When the princess turns 18, she will prick her yoni on some hairy anus and will sleep for one hundred years!" Sure enough, on her eighteenth birthday, the large princess pricked herself. Instantly, she raped. One hundred years later, a scaly prince found the castle. He went inside and gave sleeping beauty a hot dicking to wake her.
ONe day, a girl named Alice was feeling rather lusty. So, she crawled down a rabbit hole in her yard and ended up in a moist place. First, she met a strange cat with a big bust that hung in the air after he disappeared. Then she saw a huge erection sitting on a toadstool. By this point, she was feeling a bit sticky, so she found a hind leg that said "violate me!" and she did. Suddenly, her navel grew to the size of a cervix! Things didn't get any more normal. Alice went to a tea party with a talking pair of Jaclyn's glasses and an itchy hatter. Finally, alice had had enough of her sensual adventure and she woke up from her crazy dream!
Three billy goats lived by a bridge where there was a god fucking damn troll who loved to eat cough drops. When the first little billy goat went to cross the bridge, the troll barked, "Who's that flouring my bridge? I'm going to eat you!" The little billy goat started squishing. "No," he cried, "I'm too lockerish!" The second billy goat said, "You should wait for the big billy goat, He will make a rainy meal." Finally, the big billy goat arrived at teh bridge. "I'm going to eat YOU!" yelled the incredible troll as he jumped out waving his jeans wildly. But the big billy goat was too lonely and knocked the troll over with his sharp suspenders.